”Pop quiz, hotshot. There’s a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. Anna Kendrick and Jennifer Lawrence are both on the bus and you can only save one of them and whomever you save will be your new celeb best friend forever! What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?”
Jennifer Lawrence basically spent all of 2013 as THE celeb everyone wanted to have as their Best Friend. (Hmm, this is probably limited to girls. I’m pretty sure all guys would rather have sex with her).
It all started with her charming trip up the stairs at the 2013 Academy Awards to accept her Academy Award for Best Actress.
As someone who trips over her own feet on the regular, I could totally relate. With her zany red carpet interviews — armpit vaginas, anyone? — and consistently funny acceptance speeches, she’s like the more charming version of you. the version of you that could pull off a Mia Farrow pixie cut and make a guffaw sound adorable (note: this version of you does not exist, only Jennifer Lawrence can be these things, stop kidding yourself, fool). Coming into 2014, she was looking pretty unstoppable as America’s anti-sweetheart.
But a dark horse has emerged. Well, maybe not a dark horse, but a Palomino? Like, what I’m trying to say is, she didn’t come out of nowhere, she’s been flying under the radar, but she’s experienced quite the surge in popularity lately. Ladies and gentlemen… Anna Kendrick.
(Same deal: every girl wants to be friends with her, every guys wants to do her).
Anna is the star of Newcastle’s clever Superbowl commercial parody, a web video that hilariously mocks the ridiculousness of expensive Superbowl commercials as well as Superbowl standard of having celebs endorse cars and beer and other products.
Besides being the best non-Superbowl Superbowl commercial ever, Anna comes off in this bit looking like the coolest, funniest, down-to-earth hot chick.
So, let’s break it down: who would you want as your celeb BFF, Jennifer or Anna?
Small Screen Commercials
You’ve already seen Anna’s non-Superbowl Newcastle commercial above. Here is Jennifer’s, a My Super Sweet 16 MTV promo, for which she got her SAG card.
Advantage: Anna. I mean, yes, Jennifer was 14 and playing a spoiled teen, and Anna is a 28-year-old confident in her “hottest girl in your improv class hot” girl. But still. Anna kills it here. You totally want to not drink Newcastle beer with her.
Big Screen YA Fiction Characters
A crucial demographic lolz. We’re talking about The Hunger Games’ Katniss Everdeen (*cough* The Girl On Fire *cough*) versus the Human Best Friend in the Twilight books. If a guy breaks your heart, Human Best Friend will be all like “Ugh what a jerk. I guess that’s why you shouldn’t date vampires,” and offer you some ice cream. Katniss will shoot arrows at him to make him dance like the monkey vampire that he is and say, “Guess the odds weren’t in your favour, bitch.”
Advantage: Katniss. I mean Jennifer.
Social Media Savviness
Jennifer doesn’t have Twitter or Instagram. She does have a Facebook page, but those pages are useless, basically all promotional material and no glimpse into the actor’s life behind the scenes. Anna, on the other hand… Anna is a social media goddess. Buzzfeed upon Buzzfeed upon Buzzfeed has been written about the sublime perfection that is Anna’s Twitter wit, and her Instagram is the pictorial version of said wit.
Advantage: Anna. If you don’t follow her already, make it happen NOW. @annakendrick47. You’ll thank me.
Friends with Beyonce
Anna Kendrick is friends with Beyoncé because they met at the Grammy Awards (In my mind, as soon as you meet Beyoncé you become instant friends because you’ve stood in the light of her halo). Jennifer Lawrence is not friends with Beyoncé I Googled it.
Advantage: Anna. Duh, it’s Beyoncé.
Anna stars in a movie that is literally called Drinking Buddies. But something tells me that Jennifer Lawrence could drink us all under the table. After all, she blamed her emotionally wobbly Golden Globes acceptance speech on the fact that she wasn’t drunk enough.
Advantage: This might be a draw, but I think the edge goes to Jennifer on this one. After all, she’s a Kentucky girl and they can hold their liquor.
What do Sarah Jessica Parker and Taylor Swift have in common? Both have fallen victim to classic JLaw photobombs. The Taylor Swift Golden Globes photobomb even got meme-fied. Anna hasn’t gotten any sort of international or Internet press for photobombing a fellow celebrity at a major star-studded event.
Advantage: Jennifer. Duh, she’s a meme.
WINNER: Ugh this is suuuuch a tough one. To be honest, I don’t want to jeopardize my chances of being best friends with either of them… I want to be as funny and irreverent as Anna Kendrick and as drunk and silly as Jennifer Lawrence.
Who would you choose???